


Rain Sound

by ahomine (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, M/M, Sadstuck, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-25
Updated: 2013-08-25
Packaged: 2017-12-24 08:02:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/937550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ahomine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><div class="center">
  <p>On a rainy day, I fell for you.</p>
  <p>Dear Sky, please help me.<br/>Please stop this rain so that I can forget him.</p>
  <p>    <i>I think I lied when I said I couldn't live without you.</i><br/></p>
</div>
            </blockquote>





	Rain Sound

 

 

**_Outside the window, the sound of the rain rings._ **   
**_I remember the memories of us.  
On rainy days, I always run into you._**

****

★彡

 

Two mugs of coffee sit on the table, already lukewarm. It had already become a habit to pour two mugs even though there was no one here but you. You don't know when it became a habit, you just know that you were used to his presence being here and now that he was gone, there was an aching feeling left behind.

The loud taps of water hitting your window made the lonely atmosphere even lonelier, and you brought your knees closer to your body, finding little comfort in it. The radio quietly plays songs that never fail to remind you of him. The bright sixty watt lightbulbs from the lights that were installed into your ceiling make everything harsh and unforgiving, like you were being questioned for an interrogation. Your shades do little to nothing in blocking it.

What time was it?

The clacking of the clock told you nothing and you really couldn't bring yourself to look at the clock to see how late you stayed up again, mulling about, and thinking of him.

How many seconds, how many minutes? How many days had passed since then?

You were so full of questions, so full of confusion when he decided to let you go. You wanted to ask him so many things but instead, you decided that you would bite your tongue and let him leave. You buried the love you have for him inside, if it meant that it was going to let him be happy.

Happier without you.

You let him say goodbye, and held back tears when he hugged you one last time. Men didn't cry. _You_ didn't cry.

He left without looking back.

You almost went after him.

You had waited until he was out of sight before you let out a shaky breath you didn't know you were holding. You numbly walked yourself all the way home, climbing the steps to your apartment. You didn't even notice it when you stumbled slightly because your foot had missed the step. You unlocked the door, and when you shut it behind you, you let your back slide against the door, your head in your hands.

Tears threatened to fall from your eyes, but you never cried once that night.

 

★彡

 

Rainy days always put you in a mood where you didn't feel like talking to anybody, so you normally locked yourself inside the house, and everyone knew not to bother you on those days. You can sense their eyes filled with pity as you walk past them. You can hear the words they speak about you. How you were never quite the same after he left.

You knew that you had changed and you weren't the same person that you were before. It's just a stage, you keep telling yourself. _I'll get over it._ Days past and weeks past, and you're still not over it.

To be honest, you don't want to be over it, because forgetting it means letting go and letting go means letting go of him. You don't want to let go of the memories. You don't want to forget him.

You don't want to let go of the rainy day when you fell in love with him. 

To say that you never missed him would be a lie. You always missed him, from the moment you woke up, to the moments until you fall asleep. But because of the raindrops hitting the glass, you couldn't fall asleep tonight. It sounded louder than usual, and for a moment, you thought the sky was crying because you couldn't.

The rain plays along with the song on the radio, and it sounds like the rain was meant to be a part of the track. The rain reminds you of him, of his voice, and you wonder if it's calling out to you. You wonder if it's him and that he's telling you that he thinks about you, too.

Does he think about you just as much as you do?

You know it's a foolish thought to have because if he truly missed you, you wouldn't be sitting here, longing to talk to him, even just as friends. But no, you are hardly "friends." You both are more like he who just saw you with your hands down your pants attending to your little friend, and having to pretend that he saw nothing.

That's what it was. Strained and awkward.

You would be nothing more than someone who had once meant something to him, unlike him who meant everything to you.

If that showed on your face whenever he saw you, he did a very good job at pretending not to notice. Or maybe he pretended not to know how you felt.

You wrapped the blanket closer to you and let the sound of raindrops keep you safe.

 

★彡

 

With your bright orange umbrella the only splash of colour out on these streets where more adult-like colours such as gray or black dominated, you felt like you were standing out. You knew nobody's eyes were on you, but you still felt uneasy and you picked up your pace.

You went to the cafe you always frequented after realizing they made the best coffee around. Instead of the automated doors most places seemed to have, this place stayed humble and still had a wooden door. Pulling it open, the owner greeted you and asked if you wanted the usual. You nodded, and she motioned for a worker beside her to start working on it.

She made her way over to you, where you sat in a carefully picked booth against the window so you could watch people walk past in a hurry and you couldn't help but hope that he would walk past in the back of your mind.

She starts talking to you but you can't focus on the words, and her voice eventually fades into the background with the carefully selected music choices hand picked by the owner herself. You absentmindedly start picking at a frayed corner of the table, taking your gaze from the window to the owner. She smiled and patted your shoulder before walking away. She knew when to leave you alone and that was something you appreciated.

There was a cup filled with colourful pieces of chalk to use to draw on the table and a couple of small erasers next to it. The top of the table had a chalkboard bolted to it. People could draw whatever they wanted on them, or write whatever they wanted.

Picking up a stick of white chalk, you absentmindedly doodled, starting with simple drawings of smiley faces, stars, and hearts. You always erased the heart immediately after drawing it with your hand, leaving a white smudged stain. A waitress placed your cup of coffee gently on the table, and you thank her, taking a polite sip before setting it back down. You used a silver spoon with the shop's logo on it and stirred the coffee, before taking another sip.

And then you saw him.

He stood around like a lost puppy, his umbrella the same colour as everyone else. It looked like he was looking for someone. Your heart clenched painfully. You told yourself to move on, that you didn't care anymore, but you knew that was a lie because you couldn't tear your gaze away from him. You couldn't stop yourself from choking up. 

He was just like how you remembered him. Perfect, in all aspects. He may not have a body models would be jealous of, nor did he have great hair. He didn't have perfect teeth, or a great sense of fashion. He didn't have a ton of money or different girlfriends on his arm every week, but he had a heart. The way he laughed and laughed even harder when he snorted by accident, and the way his eyes twinkled whenever something he liked beckoned him was perfect. The curve of his lips, and the way his hand felt in yours was perfect. He may be no one to everyone but he was someone to you.

And on that rainy day, you fell for him again.

 ** _I'm sorry. I think I lied when I said I couldn't live without you._ **

No matter how many times you threw away your feelings for him, at the end of the day, you still miss him. 

 Your coffee was cold by the time he left.

 

 ★彡

 

_Dear Sky._

The rain kissed the top of your umbrella as you walked home, your heart broke and your hands cold.

_Please help me._

You found a note stuck onto your door using a sticker of a strawberry to hold itself up. In big capital letters was your name. Grabbing it from the door, you unfolded it, your eyes scanning the contents.

_Please stop this rain,_

**I'm sorry.**

_So that I can forget him._

You dropped the umbrella to the ground, as well as the note, and the rain drops began to blur the message. Automatically, you know who the message is from, and you watched the note become soaked with rain drops. It didn't offer you an explaination, and you didn't need one. He sent you the two words you never got to hear.

A choked sob left your throat, eyes welling up. You thought you'd be okay with the glances and the memories. You'd be okay. You wouldn't cry no matter how much you wanted to. But with the tears rolling down your face mixing in with the rain, you realize  _you're not okay._  You hadn't been okay from the start.

Your hair becomes a mess from the rain, and your clothes are soaked, and you're cold. Inside and out. You can't stop yourself from crying, and as you cried, the sky cried with you. 

On a rainy day, you fell for him, and on a rainy day, you cried about him.

Even though it was too late to decide whether or not you can cry, you allowed yourself anyway, because you couldn't stop even if you wanted to. And only for today, will you shed tears for when you lost him and couldn't even say 'don't go.' You cried for all those days after when you saw him and he avoided your gaze. You cried for when he couldn't even say 'hi' to you like he used to, and you cried for all those times on those rainy days when you fell for him again.

And for the first time since you met him, you cried for loving him.

**Author's Note:**

> this lovely fic was based off a song by b.a.p. called rain sound and i couldn't stopped listening to it so here it is in all of its glory.
> 
> I purposely didn't mention any of their names so you could fill in any name you like. i made it to be a male and male pairing though because i wrote this with dirk and jake in mind. i sort of wrote it based on what dirk and jake would act like if they had met under normal conditions and broke up under normal conditions (meaning no sburb) 
> 
> i haven't read the alpha kids yet so it's just my interpretation that jake would be extremely awkward around dirk after breaking up and would go as far as to avoiding him and dirk would mope around forever because he truly loves jake that much and wouldn't want to forget about him even though it looks like jake already did.
> 
> also, roxy does a cameo!! her name isn't mentioned (nobody's names are mentioned LOL) but she's there!! or rose or w/e idk


End file.
